Hello you guys!
Well, finally I'm on a break/winter vacation from college... THANK GOD. But I guess it would be sooo much better if I had a break from my job too... =/
Unfortunately my life isn't very interesting and I have nothing new to say. I'm trying to eat 500 calories a day, but I can't say that I've succeed... not yet!
Basically, I spend my days watching movies, reading books and I'm getting scared, 'cause I'm getting TOO comfortable with this situation, I mean, what's the point to lose weight if I'm not gonna go out with my friends anymore? In a way, I guess I'm self sabotaging myself. I'm seriously thinking on a deadline... A deadline to start to live my life again! To go out with my friends! (losing or not losing weight). I need to feel alive again, to see my friends, to laugh... But I'm feeling so insecure about what they will think about me.
The only thing I'm sure is that I don't wanna keep living like this. Right now, I'm feeling like the worst version of myself, just a stupid shadow and God, nobody deserves to feel this way. I'm not sure about what I'm going to do, but this situation needs DRASTIC MEASURES! Tonight, I'm gonna put my head on the pillow and think about some plan.. Lists of things that I should do to start getting my life on tracks again you know? So, if you guys have ANY, ANY ideas, PLEASE, let me know! 'Cause being alone, reading a book or watching a movie every single day IT'S NOT FUN! That's for sure! There's nothing pretty, romantic, mysterious or interesting about loneliness... just pain, hate, self pity and despair.
Well, finally I'm on a break/winter vacation from college... THANK GOD. But I guess it would be sooo much better if I had a break from my job too... =/
Unfortunately my life isn't very interesting and I have nothing new to say. I'm trying to eat 500 calories a day, but I can't say that I've succeed... not yet!
Basically, I spend my days watching movies, reading books and I'm getting scared, 'cause I'm getting TOO comfortable with this situation, I mean, what's the point to lose weight if I'm not gonna go out with my friends anymore? In a way, I guess I'm self sabotaging myself. I'm seriously thinking on a deadline... A deadline to start to live my life again! To go out with my friends! (losing or not losing weight). I need to feel alive again, to see my friends, to laugh... But I'm feeling so insecure about what they will think about me.
The only thing I'm sure is that I don't wanna keep living like this. Right now, I'm feeling like the worst version of myself, just a stupid shadow and God, nobody deserves to feel this way. I'm not sure about what I'm going to do, but this situation needs DRASTIC MEASURES! Tonight, I'm gonna put my head on the pillow and think about some plan.. Lists of things that I should do to start getting my life on tracks again you know? So, if you guys have ANY, ANY ideas, PLEASE, let me know! 'Cause being alone, reading a book or watching a movie every single day IT'S NOT FUN! That's for sure! There's nothing pretty, romantic, mysterious or interesting about loneliness... just pain, hate, self pity and despair.
ps: sorry for this LAME post =/
And I will never, never again run away from life
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