Well, here I am again.
As I told you guys, I've bought my pills, but I didn't stick to my food plan as I should. And it was all my fault. I was cheating and deceiveing myself. But once more, I opened my eyes, what's the point of buying the freaking pills if I'll not give 100% of myself?
So, for this week I've committed myself with the two best girls in the world (Mirror_Phobic and Salvage_Caballo from LJ) to a food plan of 300 calories.
Sor far things are going pretty well. For next week I'll push a little bit, I'm thinking about doing the same food plan except on tuesday and thursday, that I'll not eat anything. I only hope that doesn't end in a disaster...
So, I guess I have some "good" news. Last saturday I went to a reggae concert. I absolutely love the group who was playing there! I mean, for them (and Bowie) I leave my house no matter how big I am! But let's be clear, I went with a co-worker of mine. She's a nice girl and I really enjoy her company, but she has no idea about my ED and she haven't met me when I was thinner, so, in a way, I don't mind to go out with her. But I can't say either, that I was feeling 100% confident with my body and things like that. And just to show you girls, how lucky I am, when I got to the concert I saw an old friend of mine who knows everything about my ED... ¬¬ Seriously, I had wanted to hide myself, 'cause I was feeling so, so ashamed! I'm 20kg (44 lbs) fatter than when he met me; but, at least, he doesn't care at all about my weight and always thought that I was "too" thin. He made me laugh a lot and even said that I look better than before... yeah, right¬¬ So, around him I feel a little bit more comfortable than with other friends of mine. The concert was amazing! I jumped a LOT! Sang a LOT! Laughed, cried... for one moment, the world was exactly how my heart wished.
And girls, it doens't matter how many times we fail, because all the pain and suffering that we've been through, make those moments (when we feel that life is a blessing) totally worth it! And that we're so lucky to be alive and that's foolish wasting our time being sad if we can be happy! And we feel the need to grab every little opportunity, because time goes by too fast and I wanna leave behind me a life filled with laughter and love. I'm not in this world just to fill up space, I'm here to contribute (even if it is just with my smile) and to be truthful to my believes.
Oh, before I forget, I supposed to weighting myself on monday, but I didn't had the time (my job is literally sucking the life out of me¬¬) and I don't have a scale at home (I rather not to), so I was only able to weight myself on wednesday and I'm with 58.7kg (129.1 lbs) and I'm 1,71 (5'61). My ideal goal is 49kg (107.8 lbs). I don't care if will take all my life, but I'll make it!
Take care girls and every time each of you fell lonely, just remember that you have a friend here! Thanks from the bottom of my heart for everything that you have given me.
Have an amazing weekend!
So, for this week I've committed myself with the two best girls in the world (Mirror_Phobic and Salvage_Caballo from LJ) to a food plan of 300 calories.
Sor far things are going pretty well. For next week I'll push a little bit, I'm thinking about doing the same food plan except on tuesday and thursday, that I'll not eat anything. I only hope that doesn't end in a disaster...
So, I guess I have some "good" news. Last saturday I went to a reggae concert. I absolutely love the group who was playing there! I mean, for them (and Bowie) I leave my house no matter how big I am! But let's be clear, I went with a co-worker of mine. She's a nice girl and I really enjoy her company, but she has no idea about my ED and she haven't met me when I was thinner, so, in a way, I don't mind to go out with her. But I can't say either, that I was feeling 100% confident with my body and things like that. And just to show you girls, how lucky I am, when I got to the concert I saw an old friend of mine who knows everything about my ED... ¬¬ Seriously, I had wanted to hide myself, 'cause I was feeling so, so ashamed! I'm 20kg (44 lbs) fatter than when he met me; but, at least, he doesn't care at all about my weight and always thought that I was "too" thin. He made me laugh a lot and even said that I look better than before... yeah, right¬¬ So, around him I feel a little bit more comfortable than with other friends of mine. The concert was amazing! I jumped a LOT! Sang a LOT! Laughed, cried... for one moment, the world was exactly how my heart wished.
And girls, it doens't matter how many times we fail, because all the pain and suffering that we've been through, make those moments (when we feel that life is a blessing) totally worth it! And that we're so lucky to be alive and that's foolish wasting our time being sad if we can be happy! And we feel the need to grab every little opportunity, because time goes by too fast and I wanna leave behind me a life filled with laughter and love. I'm not in this world just to fill up space, I'm here to contribute (even if it is just with my smile) and to be truthful to my believes.
Oh, before I forget, I supposed to weighting myself on monday, but I didn't had the time (my job is literally sucking the life out of me¬¬) and I don't have a scale at home (I rather not to), so I was only able to weight myself on wednesday and I'm with 58.7kg (129.1 lbs) and I'm 1,71 (5'61). My ideal goal is 49kg (107.8 lbs). I don't care if will take all my life, but I'll make it!
Take care girls and every time each of you fell lonely, just remember that you have a friend here! Thanks from the bottom of my heart for everything that you have given me.
Have an amazing weekend!
"Try at something for once in your life, do something about it. But you know what? You better do it now and you better do it fast because the world doesn't owe you any favors."
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